Room for Happiness

10-26-2011
“I wish I never felt the influence of you.”
You are so intoxicating. Even long after your body had touched mine I can still smell you on me. I treasure each whiff as though you are a rare drug. It physically hurts to be away from you. My body longs for your presence. When I am with you, the world seems to be at a standstill. Nothing else can break this spell you have over me.
Except you.
You tell me that this is not what you want. Crack. You tell me that you want something else. Crack. You tell me that you are being the good guy. Craaaaaaaaaaaaack. The dam just broke. Here comes a flood of tears. And you are nowhere to be seen or heard.
Drowning.
It is quiet now. Calm. I no longer yearn for you. I have gone cold turkey. You have given me no other choice but it is one I thank you for. I no longer remember your voice or your touch. And then it is too quiet. I try to fill the void with meaningless babble. I may have been succeeding, I cannot recall anymore. For this was the moment you decided to speak. Reach out. And like a moth to a flame I was drawn to you.
Fire.
It was almost instantaneous. We tried to resist the calling. But neither of us were strong enough to stop it. Trying to breathe deeply to calm my nerves only ended in me inhaling your scent and clouding my mind. Fueled by intoxication we let our nature succumb us. As clearly as I see you, I see myself. I see the spell as though it were a heavy blanket surrounding us. Why are we so blind?
Darkness.
The sun shines brightly. The birds chirp and in the distance I can hear the children play. A light breeze enters the window and for a second I am reminded of home. Why is it so dark? Sleep overcomes me like a heavy blanket being laid onto my body.