An Amnesiac's Recollections

November 16, 2008

Love can fade but memories won't
Sometimes all we have left to keep us going are the memories…

Knees deep in the water, their bodies are pressed against each other. He has his arms wrapped around her and she has her arms draped over his neck. She smiles and looking into his eyes, she plants a kiss on him. He pulls her closer to him and kisses her back. She pulls back slightly and with her lips next to his ear, she starts to sing a familiar song. And she stopped to think of the words, and he asks her to continue, that he loves to hear her sing. So she does.

The entire walk home was quiet. Neither could muster the courage to say what was on each other's minds. Stealing glances at each other, they continued in small talk. In front of her house, she hesitates, and kisses his cheek, and immediately walks away, smiling. She didn't realize that he was smiling too…

Sitting alone in this quiet foreign room, she looks around. Her heart fills with such unbearable pain. She starts to tear from the pain she was feeling. Tears stream down her cheek, silently. She wonders where he is. She crawls into a ball, trying to keep herself safe. She feels anxiety. Her breathing gets more and more rapid. Soon her silent tears turn into loud uncontrollable sobs. She covers her face to muffle the noise. Looking at the photograph that helped her now torments her. She desperately paces the room for a way out. She bolts out of the room. She runs down the stairs and into these foreign city streets. She walks into the first store she sees. The people look on in concern but do not comment on her. She buys useless items. On the climb back up, she takes the steps slowly. She wonders what he is doing while she is suffering from heartbreak.

She walks away from what she had been trying to get for a long time. And she feels sadness as she realized that she lost her only chance. She wondered what made her decide against it. As she is walking she looks up to see a stranger coming her way. She slows her steps out of curiosity to catch a glimpse of this person. As he turns the corner so does she. Looking at him, she didn't realize that her whole world had just shifted…

In a moment of spontaneity, she jumps up and hugs him for the first time. And to her surprise he wrapped his strong arms around her. She pulled back in surprise and felt an indescribable emotion in her heart.

As she walks alongside him, she wonders how to phrase the words that she knew would break his heart. She wonders if she should even tell him. Looking at him again, she knew she must. He leaned against the wall and she leans into him. And when she finally told him… she looked into his eyes and saw him die a little inside.

She is cold so she lifts up his covers around her and lays on her side. He wraps his arm around her and eventually, they both drift off. She remembers the last thing she thought before dreams won her over was how PERFECT this felt.

As she was debating with herself, tears silently chased each other down her face. She tried to reason with him knowing she had nothing to say that would convince him to listen. But there was something she could say, so she says, "I don't love you anymore." And over the phone, she heard his world stop and his heart break.

Losing him killed her and when he touched her again, she flinched. He didn't pull away. She then gave in and let him in. And his arms around her and with her leaning into him, they fit into each other like two perfect puzzle pieces. But she knew that this puzzle would be taken apart